I never understood how I can get into this mood of loneliness when I have problems trusting people. Like you would think I would never taste the bitter taste of being lonely, but everyday it never fails. I came home to an empty apartment, because I live alone, and after a few hours it hit me like a bag of bricks the thoughts that one has when the feeling of loneliness comes upon them. 

It’s a bit annoying to be honest like this what I wanted for so long. The isolation and freedom to be me in my own world, but yet I have a nagging need to be wanted by somebody. The need to be a thought in multiple minds that would spring them to call, text or randomly come over. I honestly wish I could turn this need off so I won’t feel this way because logically I shouldn’t be feeling this way.